


Purpose

by BeaconHound



Series: Future King Series [1]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-15
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2019-03-31 21:07:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13983345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeaconHound/pseuds/BeaconHound
Summary: Without Arthur, Merlin can't see the reason for his life.





	Purpose

"Merlin! Merlin, wake up!" Gaius shouted, shaking the young man's shoulders. Merlin had been screaming in Dragontongue again. 

Merlin sat up and gasped, then collapsed into heartbroken sobs. 

"It's alright now Merlin, it was just a nightmare," the physician soothed, patting Merlin on the shoulder. 

"They aren't nightmares!" Merlin wailed. "Nightmares end, you wake up and they're over. But I wake up and he's st-still... **he's still gone!** " He gave a broken desperate scream, pulling his knees to his chest. "And any reason for my life has gone with him."

"Oh, Merlin, no," Gaius chided. "You mustn't think like that."

"Why shouldn't I? My destiny was to look after Arthur. Everything I am was for him! My magic was for him! I was born to serve him, to protect him, to-to..."  _to love him_. The last he couldn't say. But at the sorrowful look from Gaius, Merlin knew he'd understood it anyway. "I can't do this anymore, Gaius." He sniffed.  "What's the point of my life now when I failed in my purpose? I am a failure. Even the powers of the Old Religion knew I was a failure. My life wasn't even worthy enough to trade for his. I wish it was me."

"You still have a purpose Merlin," Gaius assured. 

"How do you know?"

"You told me when you arrived back in Camelot."

Merlin blinked confusedly up at Gaius.

"What did Kilgharrah tell you the day Arthur died?"

"That when Albion's need was greatest, the Once and Future King would rise again." Even in his sorrow, the Great Dragon's words warmed his heart. 

"Then that will be your new destiny, Merlin. You will find him and serve him again."

Merlin thought for a while, his breath still hitching with quiet cries, then nodded. "But I can't do that here," he sighed. "I can't stay here where he lived. I feel like a ghost, haunting his memory."

"Then you will have to leave, despite how much I will miss you."

Merlin leaned forward and threw his arms around his surrogate father. He was crying hard again. Not just for Arthur now, but also for the home he was loosing. 

"You will find your King again Merlin. I just pray I will have the luck to live long enough to see it."


End file.
